When we put ourselves first, everything fractures. The marriage fractures. The friendship fractures. The church fractures. It always ends the same way, with somebody asking the same question the Apostles asked: "Who is the greatest among us?" That question has wrecked more relationships than most sins people bother confessing.

Jesus stood on a mountain and cut through all of it in one sentence:

"Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12 NKJV)

We call it the Golden Rule. It covers nearly every commandment ever written. No more wars, no more stealing, no more murder, if people simply lived it. Imagine a world where everyone treated others the way they wanted to be treated. It would be like heaven. The reason we do not live there yet is simple: We are the problem. We are the baddies...

Jesus' words are not a mere bumper sticker. He said this rule sums up the entire Law and the Prophets. Every command God ever gave Moses, every word the prophets ever spoke, collapses into this one sentence. That means the Golden Rule is not a suggestion sitting at the bottom of a list. It's the complete how-to-handle relationships handbook.

Here is how it breaks down in our lives. Luke records Jesus saying it this way, just a chapter later:

"Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you." (Luke 6:37-38 NKJV)

Read that last part again. The same measure you use gets measured back to you. That is not poetry. That is a law, the same way gravity is a law. You do not get to opt out of it because you said a sinner's prayer. Your actions have consequences. Salvation is not a "get out of jail free" card. Never let anyone teach you otherwise. Jesus said:

But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say? (Luke 6:46 NKJV)  

The enemy knows exactly what he is doing. His one play, the only one he has ever run, is to cut you off. Cut you off from God. Cut you off from your family. Cut you off from other believers. Get you alone in a dark room with nothing but your own thoughts and no one to pull you back. He knows there is strength in numbers, so he works to make sure you never find yours.

I have seen it up close. Sylvia and I have a tendency to get deeply involved in the churches we attend. I always start out planning to sit in the congregation, invisible as possible. Still, our technical background pulls us into the spinning gears. Before long, we are exhausted full-time volunteers again. We have met some of the best people we have ever known doing that work, true servants, the ones nobody sees. But get deep enough into the underbelly of any organization, and you will learn things you wish you hadn't. We have been hurt, lied to, cheated, and used by people waltzing under the banner of Christianity. People who believed "Jesus paid it all" meant their actions had no consequences. That is a greasy grace, and it scares me.

The answer is not to quit, but to become the person you wish others were. Treat others the way you would want to be treated, and not the way they deserve. The way you would want to be treated if the roles were reversed. That is the standard Jesus set, and it is a hard one. It does not leave room for retaliation. It requires turning the other cheek. It does not leave room for holding a grudge while smiling on Sunday. It requires you to actually imagine yourself on the other side of the table, and then act accordingly.

I have worked some pretty bad jobs over the years; doing whatever it took to pay the bills. Fixing overflowing septic tanks, polishing brass on skid row, crawling under houses, or just in general construction.

In every one of those jobs, I worked alongside people who were not easy to love. Loud, rough, not interested in God or much of anything else except the weekend. You could write them off, or you could keep your head down, do your work as unto the Lord, and treat them like you would like to be treated.

When times got bad, I made it into a game and pretended that I was working directly for the LORD. I got up each day and went to work because that is what He wanted. I was often the first to arrive and the last to leave. I smiled, though nothing inside me wanted to at first. Eventually, it just became who I was. Sometimes, I would lead people to the LORD. So be nice...

The Apostle Paul put it plainly:

"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ." (Colossians 3:23-24 NKJV)

That changes things. The difficult coworker, the family member who has not spoken to you in three years, the person in the church who smiled to your face and stabbed you in the back. You are not answering to them. You are answering to God. Treat them like you would like to be treated, because He said to. When enough people do that, the walls that divide us begin to come down.

The answer is not a new program or a denomination. It is putting God first, in your finances, your relationships, your decisions, every area, and then treating the person in front of you the way you would want to be treated if the roles were reversed. Start there. Start today. Start with the next person you see.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I know I fall short of this every single day. Help me see people the way You see them, and treat them like I'd want to be treated if I were in their shoes. Give me the strength to live this out, not just talk about it. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen!