Recent Blog Entries

  • 10 hours ago
    Posted by Dion Todd
    Then the king gave Daniel high honors and many great gifts, and made him ruler over the whole province of Babylon and chief prefect over all the wise men of Babylon. Dan. 2:48 ESVDaniel, who was born of royal family, was taken prisoner when Nebuchadnezzar captured Jerusalem in 597 BC. He was taken f...
  • Thu at 3:01 AM
    Posted by Dion Todd
    A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, just like I have loved you; that you also love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:34 WEBIf you study Jesus in the gospels, His defining characteristics were love, com...
  • Wed at 3:01 AM
    Posted by Dion Todd
    Then the king commanded, and they brought Daniel, and cast him into the den of lions. Now the king spoke and said to Daniel, Your God whom you serve continually, he will deliver you. A stone was brought, and laid on the mouth of the den; and the king sealed it with his own signet, and with the signe...
View All




The Love Dare: Day 6

  • Day 6

    Love is Not Irritable

    He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.  -Proverbs 16:32

    Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive.  How easily do you get irritated and offended?  Some people have the motto, “Never pass up an opportunity to get upset with your spouse.”  When something goes wrong, they quickly take full advantage of it by expressing how hurt or frustrated they are.  But this is the opposite reaction to love.

    To be irritable means “to be near the point of a knife.”  Not far from being poked.  People are irritated are locked, loaded, and ready to overact.

    When under pressure, love doesn’t turn sour.  Minor problems don’t yield major reactions.  The truth is, love does not get angry or hurt unless there is a legitimate and just reason in the sight of God.  A loving husband will remain calm and patient, showing mercy and restraining his temper.  Rage and violence are out of the question.  A loving wife is not overly sensitive or cranky but exercise emotional self-control.  She chooses to be a flower among the thorns and respond pleasantly during prickly situations.

    If you are walking under the influence of love, you will be a joy, not a jerk. Ask yourself, “Am I a calming breeze, or a storm waiting to happen?”

    Why do people become irritable?  There are at least two key reasons that contribute to it:

    Stress: Stress weighs you down, drains your energy, weakens your health, and invites you to be cranky.  It can be brought on by the relational causes: arguing, division, and the bitterness.  There are excessive causes: overworking, overplaying, and overspending.  And there are deficiencies: not get enough rest, nutrition, or exercise.  Oftentimes we inflict these daggers on ourselves, and this sets us up to be irritable.

    Life is a marathon, not a sprint.  This means you must balance, prioritize, and pace yourself.  Too often we throw caution to the wind and run full steam ahead, doing what feels right at the moment.  Soon we are gasping for air, wound up in knots, and ready to snap.  The increasing pressure can wear away at our patience and our relationship.

    The Bible can help you avoid unhealthy stress.  It teaches you to let love guide your relationships to so you aren’t caught up in unnecessary arguments (Colossians 3:12-14).  To pray through your anxieties instead of tackling them on your own (Philippians 4:6-7).  To delegate when you are overworked (Exodus 18:17-23).  To avoid overindulgence (Proverbs 23:16)

    It also exhorts you to take a “Sabbath” vacation day every week for worship and rest.  This strategically allows you time to recharge, refocus, and add breathing room or margin to your weekly schedule.  Establishing these kinds of extra spaces will place cushions between you and the pressures around you, reducing stress that keeps you on edge around your mate.  But there is a deeper reason why you can become irritable.

    Selfishness: When you’re irritable, the heart of the problem is primarily a problem of the heart.  Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34 NKJV).  Some people are like lemons: when life squeezes them, they pour out a sour response.  Some are more like peaches: when the pressure is on, the result is still sweet.

    Being easily angered is an indicator that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is supposed to rule.  But selfishness also wears many other masks:

    Lust, for example, is the result of being ungrateful for what you have and choosing to covet or burn with passion for something that is forbidden. When your heart is lustful, it will become easily frustrated and angered (James 4:1-3).  Bitterness takes root when he is provoked (Ephesians 4:31). Greed for more money and possessions will frustrate you with unfulfilled desires (1 Timothy 6:9-10).  These strong cravings coupled with dissatisfaction lead you to lash out at anyone who stands in your way.  Prideleads you to act harshly in order to protect your ego and reputation.

    These motivations can never be satisfied.  But when love enters your heart, it calms you down and inspires you to quit focusing on yourself.  It loosens your grasp and helps you let go of unnecessary things.

    Love will lead you to forgive instead of holding a grudge.  To be grateful instead of greedy.  To be content rather than rushing into more debt.  Love encourages you to be happy when someone else succeeds rather than lying wake at night in envy.  Love says “share the inheritance” rather than “fight with your relatives.”  It reminds you to prioritize your family rather than sacrifice them for a promotion at work.  In each decision, love ultimately lowers your stress and helps you release the venom that can build up inside. It then sets up your heart to respond to your spouse with patience and encouragement rather than anger and exasperation.

    Today's Dare

    Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule.  Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

     

    Things to ponder: 

    Where do you need to add margin to your life?  When have you recently overreacted?  What was your real motivation behind it?

     

    I always do my best to have a clear conscience towards God and men.  -Acts 24:16 

     

     Click here to buy a copy of the Love Dare book.

     

    Material taken from The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, copyright © 2009 by B&H Publishing Group. Used by permission.  Unauthorized reproduction in any format is strictly prohibited by law.

     

    Scroll down to comment below. We would love to hear from you!

    To continue to the next post, click the arrow. 


Tip: You must be logged into the website to leave comments.

 

Social Sharing

14 comments
  • 2
Angela Laylin
Angela Laylin Lord please help me with this. I pray when I start to get irritated You remind me to take a deep breath and remember what I'm grateful for. In Jesus's Holy Name! Amen! 
February 6, 2016
  • 1
Sylvia Todd
Sylvia Todd Amen, Angela, I pray that He blesses you with grace to overcome those irritating moments <3.
February 6, 2016
  • 2
Samantha Greer
Samantha Greer  This is very deep. Forcing me to dig deep and look within myself. Thank you.
February 6, 2016
  • 1
Sylvia Todd
Sylvia Todd Praise God, I pray that it will bless you and your loved ones <3!
February 6, 2016
  • 2
Carol Pady
Carol Pady Amen!  Years back in my marriage when Jim pushed my buttons , I would go into full spin. Now I go into soak, I go to my Abba Father and I  soak in His presence . I pray for peace and then I  respond with love. It never fails to calm the situation and the tide turns to provide us with peace.
February 6, 2016
  • 1
Sylvia Todd
Sylvia Todd That is awesome, Carol! The Lord has much greater ability to bring peace than we do <3.
February 6, 2016
  • 1
Carol Pady
Carol Pady Amen to that!
February 6, 2016
  • 1
Sylvia Froese
Sylvia Froese I need more of that full soaking myself. Thanks for sharing Carol.
February 8, 2016
  • 2
Cheryl Hepler
Cheryl Hepler Now I feel overwhelmed.  I can comprehend meaning onthes dares & digest them.  It is good.  I can't be perfect but strive to do better.  I was not feeling well a few days.  Fibro yuck.  What I need to do even then during us together & not is my work to stay focused on the moment.  I like illustration of irritable is as a " knife".  That visual will stick.  I don't like knives.  Blessings Dion & Sylvia!  I bought book at that will help to keep my nose in it & comprend & practice!
February 6, 2016
  • 1
Sylvia Todd
Sylvia Todd It will be ok, Cheryl! I pray that He blesses you with peace, clarity and strength, in the name of Jesus!
February 6, 2016
  • 2
Sylvia Froese
Sylvia Froese This is all really good stuff being said here today. I was reminded of the idea of margin. Certainly an area I need to be reminded on. Thanks 
February 6, 2016
  • 1
Sylvia Todd
Sylvia Todd Agreed, Sylvia, I think it's really important not to overstuff our lives and to leave ourselves room to wiggle :-).
February 6, 2016
  • 2
Mark Duell
Mark Duell These guys did a really good job in writing this book. I mean I can see me in all these topics of discussions. Some areas I haven't had too much of an issue, others I have become better in and others maybe still struggling some. But I can see where I have grown. I just wish that I could have done it right, right from the beginning. It saddens me to stop and think of times when I have been a real jerk and been selfish in our marriage. It's never been a daily thing. It's been more of what this devotional topic is about. "Under pressure" and trying to be and do everything. Trying to do everything I wanted to do along with trying to maintain the balance with my wife and kids. I'm sure they came up on the short end. I can't relive the past but I can instruct my kids on their future. Oh how scipture is sharper than any two edged sword and cuts to the marrow. If only we would take more time to spend in the Word we could avoid many of these problems. I guess when your young and free you think you've got it all under control. This is where true parenting comes in. So your children won't make the same mistakes and see what a real marriage truly is.
February 7, 2016
  • 1
Sylvia Todd
Sylvia Todd Amen, brother, I think that we all have moments we look back on and cringe, maybe even recently ;). I agree that this series has been amazing and what a blessing if it can positively impact future generations!
February 7, 2016