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The Packhorse

  • And when He comes, He will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: John 16:8 ESV

    There I stood with my head down, too ashamed to look around me and every fiber of my being told me to run out of the door. I spent a lot of time looking at the floor and avoided making eye contact when attending church. I felt so unworthy to be there because of my past. Oh, I had been saved and baptized, but I was saddled with baggage and being ridden by the enemy like a packhorse. I was carrying shame, and it was a heavy load.

    Jesus came to convict the world of sin, but I often see people walking around bound by shame because of something they did twenty years ago, repented of seventy times, and they think that God is still mad at them over it. Let me tell you this: God does not look at you like that. When you repent of something, it is gone.If you asked God about it again He will not know what you are talking about because He has put your sin as far as the East is from the West (Psa. 103:12).

    To Convict means: to expose, lay bare, to detect, to reveal your mistake to you. When you repent, it is gone.

    To Shame means: to humiliate, dishonor, and to disgrace. Fear and shame are tools of the enemy. They are like bullies and will not leave without a fight, but when you face them, they will flee.

    Conviction is good and says: What you did was wrong. Apologize and dont do it again.

    Shame is evil and says: You are what is wrong. You are no good and you will never be any good. Look at what you did. Why don't you just quit. The purpose is to get you to give up.

    When you stumble, repent, tell God you are sorry about that, and then lift your head up and stand tall. Know that you are forgiven and washed as white as snow.As far as hanging your head down in shame, stop it! Never give into that trap. How can you ever lead others to Jesus when you look so miserable yourself? The joy of the Lord is our strength. The kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Shame will only keep you back from what God has for in store for you. Let it go.


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53 comments
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Reinhard Blefgen
Reinhard Blefgen Amen
March 28, 2015
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Loriann Riley
Loriann Riley Amen Thank You
March 28, 2015
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Susan Helms
Susan Helms Thank you for this message.  I am guilty as guilty can be about doing this.  How does one forgive themselves -- truly.  Thank you Jesus that you love us in spite of ourselves.
March 28, 2015
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Jolene Rodgers
Jolene Rodgers I LOVE this! I often find myself remembering the past and having to stop and remind myself that Jesus has no idea what I'm beating myself up over because when I repented he forgave me and it's gone. Thank you for this devotional. 
March 28, 2015
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Penelope Rhome
Penelope Rhome Thank you father for I have sinned I pray for forgiveness thank you Lord for this day Hallelujah
March 28, 2015
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Kathy Banfield
Kathy Banfield Now THIS is a devotion that so clearly seems to be speaking directly to me--well, I HAVE to save it. So, I'm printing it out! Because 20 years ago, my mother and my ex husband both told me if I didn't abort my unborn child (who was conceived by rape) that I would, essentially, be homeless.I believed them and had an abortion. To this day, I am haunted by that decision.Only very recently have I FELT rather than merely heard (but didn't actually believe) the message of God's complete forgiveness! Thats the main difference between God and humans: Man does NOT forgive or forget. God is capable of BOTH! And I finally do believe that! Thanks so much, Pastor Todd! God bless you!
March 28, 2015
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Donovan McCleese
Donovan McCleese Amen! I must share this because it is so true! Praise God!!!
March 28, 2015
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Yvette Cantrell
Yvette Cantrell God Morning... Shame and guilt, Tssk, I remember when I was prisoner of those twins.  BUT GOD, HALLELUJAH, GAVE ME FREEDOM, SO I AM FREE INDEEEED!!!!  Don't allow that mess keep you stuck and separated from God.  Be Encouraged and Enjoy This Day. 
March 28, 2015
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Don Jensen
Don Jensen AMEN!!  I needed that today!!  Thank you for these words!
March 28, 2015
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Martin Snyder
Martin Snyder Great message today, Pastor. I am a former drunk and drug user - I am quite familiar with guilt and shame. Thanks be to God, I am now clean and sober and serving Him every day in everything I do (or at least, try to). But sometimes the baggage catches up to me and reattaches itself to me and I have to shake it off time and time again. Thanks for the reminder that it is only me that remembers the past and not Him. Onwards and upwards, further up and further in! It's one heck of an adventure!
March 28, 2015
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Paula Andrews
Paula Andrews This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Thank you. Praise God!!
March 28, 2015
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Jessie Spriggs
Jessie Spriggs Thank you for these word, help me Lord!!
March 28, 2015
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Pam Ivins
Pam Ivins such an amazing word from God, thank you for the inspiring words Pastor.
March 28, 2015
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J D  Williams
J D Williams THANKS SO MUCH HOLY SPIRIT FOR CONVICTING ME TO CONFESS MY SINS AND REPENT......
March 28, 2015
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Mark Cain
Mark Cain  A great word Pastor! It's sad that many Christians can't get beyond the shame of being sinners and start enjoying their salvation!! What's worse is that many churches don't help or even know how... Thank you for being a pastor that knows the difference
March 28, 2015
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Joan Joseph
Joan Joseph So powerful, If you ask the Lord to take the guilty and shame away, he will. Thank you Pastor Todd for letting God use you. It was a great message. 
March 28, 2015
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Sylvia Froese
Sylvia Froese This is so much for me. Struggle with shame a lot and hard to let go and be happy. It is getting easier to let it go but sometimes not. Although I know all about what you wrote here, it is hard to keep it from coming back. But I keep trying to anyway to let it go. Thank you pastor! Good to know I am not alone in this. I won't give up. Thank you for this encouragement. 
March 28, 2015
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Julie Schneider
Julie Schneider This may be from my church and not the Bible.....but aren't we sitting on the judgment seat at our death, reviewing our past sins?
March 28, 2015
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Marcia Diehl
Marcia Diehl Thank you for this message.  I have been struggling with this problem a very long time.
March 28, 2015
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Dion Todd
Dion Todd As a Christian, when you ask for forgiveness, your sins are forgiven. For a Christian, judgment day will be a rewards day. For the worldly... not so much. Well, I guess there will still be a reward for them to.  ;)
March 28, 2015
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Michele  Smart
Michele Smart These messages have really provided a lot of food for thought.  They put in to words the emotions and feelings many of us share deep inside but are hard to verbally express.  Thanks for helping us to identify these issues holding us back so we can shake them off and live our best life!
March 28, 2015
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Diane Casey
Diane Casey OMG! This devotional is so uplifting and encouraging. Shame and guilt are the weapons satan use against the saints of God. We are victorious!!!!
March 28, 2015
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Carol Pady
Carol Pady I and my children struggle with this. I find it hard to accept forgiveness. I feel unworthy of His love. Then I am reminded of how I unconditionally love and forgive my children and grandchildren.  I  am His daughter and it is natural for my Heavenly Father  to love and forgive me.  Praise God for His continual provision of forgiveness toward His children!
March 28, 2015
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Sally Barclay
Sally Barclay I so identify with this.
March 28, 2015
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Twila Stierwalt
Twila Stierwalt Yes!!! the best devotional, God forgave us. He never goes back on His word. God wants me to live a life of peace and joy. Thankful Jesus for your faithfulness to go to the cross and die for my sin's. You rose to give us a wonderful life, Help me to put my ressurected life into action.
March 28, 2015
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Jeffrey Hample
Jeffrey Hample Thanks!
March 28, 2015
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Joy Sue Callahan
Joy Sue Callahan Without His forgiveness I literally could not continue. That may sound simplistic but having a brother who has constantly made me aware of every mistake I've ever made and continues to do so, it really is a simple choice. Thank you Lord for Your Gracious Forgiveness.
March 28, 2015
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Joy Sue Callahan
Joy Sue Callahan never give up or in to satan's deviant ability but stand strong in the Knowledge that  we are forgiven because God promises this!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, LOVED, AND FORGIVEN!!!!   Just a little simething I had to lrarn to look into the mirror and say until I was truly to accept the Truth of His Promises. God Bless  ;)
March 28, 2015
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Lissy Verghese
Lissy Verghese Thank you pastor for the message!
March 28, 2015
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Karen Pasquinelli
Karen Pasquinelli Thank you, I needed to hear this.  Sometimes for some reason my past will come to mind and I know I have been forgiven but then start to wonder if I will be judged on those sins when judgement day comes.
March 28, 2015
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Deanna Hinds
Deanna Hinds How amazing, this has been my struggle forever. I am forgiven. The sins of my past are no longer seen by my redeemer for I am redeemed. My sins are gone removed forevermore. Thank you Lord Jesus. 
March 28, 2015
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Yolanda Young
Yolanda Young Amen! Thank you very much! I am so guilty of asking God to forgive me of things in my past over and over. 
March 28, 2015
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Alice McDill
Alice McDill Great message...Forgiving yourself is the hard part... You have to put it God's hands to find your own peace... 
March 28, 2015
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Christina Ocasio
Christina Ocasio Awesome message,  thank you for that and may God continue to use you to share his word. Blessings
March 28, 2015
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Melissa-Peter Busse
Melissa-Peter Busse It's a journey. I am tired of letting the enemy rob me of this precious moment Jesus has given me, right now. Thank you Lord for your forgiveness, may I live in your peace and forgiveness today. 
March 28, 2015
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Melissa-Peter Busse
Melissa-Peter Busse Philippians 1:6  being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
March 28, 2015
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Nell Neathery
Nell Neathery My family has always told me to keep my head up, and the only way I have been able to do that in the recent years is with the joy of the Lord as my strength.  I did away with most of my baggage in 2012.  I took a Wellness program and received a diploma after studying spiritual, mental, emotional and physical well-being.  I have been convicted and stumbled, but I have repented and I am not ashamed, especially witnessing to others about the kingdom of God.  On Friday, I say "TGIF:  thank goodness it is Friday and thank God I am forgiven!"  I can also say that and count my blessings every other day of the week in Jesus' name, Amen!
March 28, 2015
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Rosemary  Sambrano
Rosemary Sambrano Amen! Thank YOU LORD for YOUR forgiveness! Thank you Pastor Dion Todd for your messsge!
March 28, 2015
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Valerie  King
Valerie King Amen, one of the greatest message for this  day. All have a blessed day. 
March 28, 2015
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Alane Grosz
Alane Grosz This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad!  Thank you
March 28, 2015
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Rose Daulton
Rose Daulton Thank you so much for this post today, I really needed this bad, this is so me!!!
March 28, 2015
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Marcia Lament
Marcia Lament Thank you for the powerful message today it sure hits home!!!
March 28, 2015
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Darletha Kitchens
Darletha Kitchens Thank you for the message you always seem to no where I am.
March 28, 2015
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Monica Holloman
Monica Holloman I understand message. It is so true to myself. Yakoke , thank you in Choctaw 
March 28, 2015
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Tim Thorpe
Tim Thorpe This message has me pegged. I say now and for good, that I am giving it up to The Lord!  Thank you Dion!
March 28, 2015
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Ticardo Williams
Ticardo Williams Amen.  Praise God! Thank you! Be Blessed Today! 
March 29, 2015
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Kathy Banfield
Kathy Banfield YES! I couldn't "like" this yesterday because I lost all Internet connections after I contacted my lawyer regarding my own family--so sad! Please pray for me, Pastor Todd. Thanks!
March 29, 2015
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Dion Todd
Dion Todd Yakoke!
March 29, 2015
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Ruth Martin
Ruth Martin Pastor. I'm 56 years old. My daughter, Heather, is 33 and my son, Vearl, is 28. I made so many mistakes raising them, physical, emotional, mental. Most of their young years it was just me. My Mom and Dad helped as much as they could, but the mistakes I made. . .they still can wake me up from a sound sleep in tears. When I look at my grandchildren and see some of the same behaviors as their mother and uncle, or I see my daughter making same or worse mistakes than I did, I feel so ashamed and I cry. Often for days. I know God has forgiven me. I know my daughter has forgiven me. But I can't completely forgive myself. I try. And yet, those taunting voices come and the shame hits hard and my self loathing is escalated. I don't know what to do about this. I pray. And I ask for help forgiving myself, but . . . I just don't know.
March 29, 2015
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Cheryl Hepler
Cheryl Hepler Thanks again!
March 29, 2015
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Cheryl Hepler
Cheryl Hepler Thank you for sharing such hard things......sharing helps and hearing others lets us know we are not alone.   In Psalm 42 where I hung out for a long t i m e it says deep cries out to deep.  I realized God is a God of the pits.  So I caught it...that He was in my pit with me.  I was happy to know it.  I needed someone in the puts with me.  I would draw a lot of the visual part of this.  A big pit fill it with junk & label each piece of junk draw me in there maybe as a stick person and right aside of me put God sitting there with me.  I was small & He was sooo big!  Drawing is a great way to let go of "stuff".  Add a scripture I felt God brought to mind.  Scribble if I was upset.  Black scribble depending how bad I felt.  Getting feelings out on paper is great & this is one showed to me.  Attended. Talk at a college where victims of abuse hung their art....so much feelings in those pictures.  I could feel with them or even cry.  Tears are cleansing yet always realizing the God of the pits was with me.  Blessings of healing to the healing person inside of you:)
March 29, 2015
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Susan Smith
Susan Smith I too have a hard time letting go of shame over my past.  I served  25 months in prison for embezzlement, my husband is even a licensed minister (he is not currently in ministry).  I have was brought up in a christian home and have been a believer, but I never fully tursted God and I took things into my own hands to fix everyones financial messes....there is not enough space here to write my full story, but with that said I do understand seeing the results of my sin...over and over daily and it makes is especially difficult to let go of shame.  I try to live in my community under humility of understanding others feelings of unforgiveness and that helps some, but I still struggle almost daily.  I have learned to trust God more than I ever  thought possible and I know that in time he will bring me to a place of complete healing.  I will be praying for you Ruth, and Cheryl and I hope you will remember me too.  Thanks for sharing your struggles, it reminds me I am not alone.  
March 30, 2015
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Mikki Von Hollen
Mikki Von Hollen Pastor Todd, I am confused.  The first line of this message...the one from John 16:8 says "And when He comes, He will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgement"...yet further down you say that once He has forgiven you for sinning, it is gone forever.  If the sin is gone forever, what is left for conviction when He comes?
April 1, 2015