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DUCK TALES
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I wanted to bring a little levity into our times together. A few years ago I was up in Syracuse at the other place we have. Mom n my sister live there. Anyway sitting in the living room bored. I had a friend I called Duckie. She would give these ducks to me. So I decided to creat a I hope humorous but at least entertaining. I’ve had poetry published. I’ve written lots of skits we used as part of our services. So this is like a skit. It takes place over 48 hours. I can’t give you much more with out giving the story away. It’s bout ducks my house n me. I hope you all enjoy the read. It has bout 18 I call chapters. But they are less than a page. Oh n it has PICTURES. BLESSINGS ONE LOVE PD
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DUCK TAKES
CHAPTER ONE
DUCK TALES #1These are the ducks that tried to convince me they just hatched. I asked if they may be stealing my last egg. NO NO NO!!!! Was their reply. This theme will continue to pop up.n this narrative/documentary.Blessings One Love PD
This post was edited by Daryl Page at August 21, 2023 3:32 PM EDT
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DUCK TALES
CHAPTER TWO
DUCK TALES #2Later on that evening I heard a motorcycle pulled up in my driveway. I left the four little ducklings in the fridge with my egg. To go to see what it was or who it was that was now in my driveway. I look out and I see these guys sitting on my front stoop. They said they were the mother and father of the four little ducklings. I should’ve realized that this was the second red flag (How did they know bout the ducks in fridge) and I was going to totally allow it to happen anyway. So now I got a biker dude and his girl who apparently is the mother of the crew inside my fridge. At this point I thought I had everything somewhat in control. As I had four ducklings in the refrigerator so I was safe there and I had these two motorcycle type thugs in my living room. If I can put these two groups together I can get these two thugs their kids and their bike out of my living room I should be OK. However nothing is as easy as it seems. Blessings One Love PDTHIS IS WHERE I WILL LEAVE US TODAY. I WILL SEE IF I GET 20 HITS N NEXT FEW DAYS I WILL PICK UP THE STORY OF THIS GREAT AMERICAN TRAGEDY UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN BLESSINGS ONE LOVE PD
This post was edited by Daryl Page at June 21, 2023 10:54 AM EDT
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DUCK TALES #3So we pick up the story with our parents riding in on their Harley. I also have apparently 4 Younghans Still in the refrigerator. I told the parents to stay where they are in hopes that I can get the four kids out of the refrigerator unite them with their parents and send them out the door. However that’s not quite what happened As I opened the fridge I found out that our 4 ducks turned into 6 ducks Apparently they were being a bit deceitful when they said they were hatched.WHEN THEY WERE HATCHING THEIR PLAN TO MESS WITH ME. ACTUALLY YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WERE REALLY UP TO THE FOUR NOW SIX WELL THEY STOLE MY NESTLES CRUNCH BAR. NOW I CAN TAKE A LOT BUT MY CANDY BAR SERIOUSLY. I WAS GOING TO PUT END TO THIS NOW. AND I WOULD Have EXCEPT I HEARD THE HARLEY RIPPING UP MY LIVING ROOM I JUST TOOK MY EYES OFF THE ADOLESCENT FOR TWO SECONDS K MAYBE FIVE. SURE NUFF THEY HOOFED OUT OF THE KITCHEN TO PARTS UNKNOWN. I GUESS THEY FINISHED MY CANDY BAR WHEREVER THEY WERE. NOW NEXT TIME I SEE THEM A FEW MINUETS LATER THEY ARE ALL HUDDLED UP AS IF THEY WERE DRAWING UP A SANDLOT FOOTBALL PLAY . As I looked over my situation I realized the parent came to throw me off. So the refrigerator could be opened up in two more adolescent ducks join the baby ducks in doing what? STEELING MY HERSHEYS ALMOND CANDY BAR!!!!! Obviously these ducks are not God-fearing ducks. One may consider them heathens. This would take much prayer and wisdom to get the GOSPEL out to them. I’m sure this is not the end of the story. To be continued. One. Love. PD
This post was edited by Daryl Page at June 23, 2023 8:17 AM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #4.
DUCK TALES #4I wasn’t able to keep the 6 in fridge. I got distracted by these 3. These guys had broke into my meds. Meanwhile idk where mom n dad went the six had disappeared with my candy bar n now these 3 are in my bedroom. Needless to say there seems to be a concerted effort to test my faith. I’m having a hard time trying to keep up with now 11 Ducks n my house also very focused on cleaning me out of house n home. If I can get them together I could try n share the Gospel to them. However I’ll need to round the crew up n that’ seems like they are determined to not be gathered but rather scattered. What could possibly happen next? Time will tell. To be continued. One Love PD
This post was edited by Daryl Page at June 26, 2023 9:56 AM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #5After loosing track of The Biker Group I walk into the kitchen to see if I can find the 6 Ducklings that stole my candy bar. Oh when I was able to ask bout the candy bar They assured me they were going to bring it into the living room. Well seems I’m pretty dumb. They ate it and know are in hiding. That’s when I walked into the bedroom. WHO do I find The Biker Gang Stealing my money probably going to hook up with the crew that stole my meds and now they have found at least two more young gangsters Apparently they are a BIKER GANG are collecting what they classify protection money. As I watch them ride out of site I’m thinking just 4 hours ago I didn’t need protection. Now the only protection I need is from the DUCKBILL GANG Then I hear a big crash in my fridge I rush out to the kitchen……. TBC. One Love PD
This post was edited by Daryl Page at June 27, 2023 6:53 PM EDT
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DUCK TALES
This a story about DUCKS that were found in fridge I found the in an egg carton Their story they hatched. I found that to be their cover story. That’s where our story starts. These. 4 DUCKS playing their little DUCK Games.
DUCK TALES #6As I enter the kitchen I see what I now know as part of the DUCKBILL GANG. You know the last time saw them was in the fridge. What a surprise when I found they had broke out. Ya that would have been so much desirable then what was bout to step into. See not only did the four GANGSTERS escape YA I SAID GANGSTERS but now to my surprise there’s six and the two new ones are teens. Now they were beating feet and were heading directly for the living room. I start to actually think I’m still gonna round these guys up.At least I thought I was. There’s going to be a lot of thinking I’m in control. Only to find this DUCK BILL GANG somehow is few steps ahead. (DISCLAIMER THE 75-85 DECADE) Then I saw it. This was all a decoy So once again I get played …
This post was edited by Daryl Page at June 29, 2023 11:57 PM EDT
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DUCK TALESDUCK TALES #7.Just as I thought I was getting an upper hand I realized something was up. This was way too easy Then out of the corner of my eye I see these four stealing my RBBC. Now I’m totally not a happy camper. This means war. I was seriously laser focused on regaling my RBBC. I was so focused I lost tract of the six EGG CARTON GANG. Last I saw them they were heading toward the living room. That didn’t matter to me rite now I was seconds from swooping in to get my RBBC back…I HOPE YOUR ENJOYING MY AMERICAN TRAGEDY. TY FOR STOPPING IN TO READ THE THOUGHT OF A FIFTH GRADER. IDK WHEN I WILL BE BACK. MAY BE TWO WEEKS. HOPEFULLY SOONER. BLESSINGS ONE LOVE PD
This post was edited by Daryl Page at June 29, 2023 10:46 AM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #8
I apologize I had to leave as I was reliving that episode, it was quite upsetting. So we were left with our hero (me ) zeroing in on this new group of four it’s still at my RBBC. For the last six hours I have been terrorized by this group of my thugs that just seems to be multiplying. Add this point in time I believe I have 15 gangsters in my house. The DUCK BILL Gang of 5 now the EGG CARTON CREW now 6 The CANDY BAR BUNCH. 4 of them. But none of that matters as I reach down to grab that RBBC they zag i zig. I’ve totally outsmarted them one more stop then this happens. Apparently the DUCKPILLE GANG ditched their bike and were hiding out in my fridge why you would ask Well that’s a good question I don’t know what I do know n now I am laying on the floor because they open the refrigerator door and I walked into it. Oh yeah my RBBC got away by the time I come to you these guys had made their great escape. Honestly at this point I’m a bit DAZED and CONFUSED. After a few minutes I begin to get my eyesight back ringing in my ears it’s a little bit better and I’m like way dizzy. But then that’s a normal day for me anyway I decide to get up and see what’s left of my house as The DUCKBILL GANG n associates had left I wasn’t feeling good about myself but at least I outlasted the idk where they went or if they are coming back to Heck I still could be a prisoner in my own house. But on the bright side I’m home…..
This post was edited by Daryl Page at July 4, 2023 12:09 PM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #9I don’t know how long I was out however when I woke up the refrigerator was open the DUCKBILL GANG had left. Things seem to be getting a little better at least my eyes were getting a little bit more clear, my hearing well they’re still ringing in the ears. As I got to my feet still feeling a little bit dizzy I caught on the corner of my eye these four. I believe these are the same four called the CANDY BAR CREW then I realized it was actually one of my sneakers that got knocked off or maybe stolen while I was unconscious. Which quite obvious to me that I am no longer home alone. That I actually have a group of terrorists living in my house. About this time I am extremely determined to get my sneaker back. So I chase them down the hall As I was just about ready to jump on them when in the den I hear a noise. It’s a big noise. So I gave up my pursuit of the sneaker to find out what was going on in my den. This is wat I found…….
This post was edited by Daryl Page at July 4, 2023 12:13 PM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #10As I round the corner I see in the study Apparently the circus is in town. I have no idea who these clowns are. It’s beginning to set in my castle wasnt my castle anymore. There’s at least 10 strange Ducks in my house that I know of. I didn’t even ask Honestly I’m pretty sure I won’t like the answer. So I’m going to see if I can catch up with my shoe. Tell you the truth I’m a bit embarrassed at the moment I got out smarted by a gaggle of Ducks. I’m just thinking instead of chasing my show. I’m going to watch tv.in the living room. But first I’ll go brush my teeth Go to the bed room and pick up the mess left behind. Blessings One Love PD
This post was edited by Daryl Page at July 12, 2023 12:00 PM EDT
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DUCK TALES
Duck Takes #11So after the surprise that I know was sharing my crib with the Circus Clowns I see this five The DUCKBILL GANG now making off with my remote Now if your a guy then you know this is totally unacceptable and quite embarrassing as a guy. NOTE TO SELF check to see if this won’t cost me my MLS. Man Law Society. Sorry got caught up in the moment. Ok where were we? Ummm actually where was I. Dah you are just hearing of this travesty perpetrated on a real American HERO Ok but when you finish reading this nightmare you will be calling me one for sure. Then again you could as easily call Pleasant Valley Institution. Wow i really must apologize for going off script twice now. So back at the ole homestead. The remote belongs to the man of the house. ME. They were taken bye surprise for when I yelled at them. Unlike everyone else these five dropped my remote….
This post was edited by Daryl Page at July 12, 2023 12:03 PM EDT
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DUCK TALESDUCK TALES 12They didn’t seem very sophisticated (NOW THATS A IMPRESSIVE WORD) but they knew nuff to head out in five different directions. Making it harder to catch them.Then again these same guys have out smarted me a few times Wait not out smarted but tricked. Ya that sounds way better. Ok so I should have been a little more in tune with my unique situation *I AM BEING OVER RUN BY A BUNCH OF DASTARDLY DUCKS* and if this gets out I’m sure I will be run out of my neighborhood from embarrassment. No I’m not going to be that GUY. You know the one everyone points at snickers behind my back. I can’t imagine how my Island Girl Wife will take us being the laughing stock of The Hood. Ya It Will End Badly. See now mentioning snickers bar I realize I’m still not over the Candy Bar Cartel that stole my RBBC and my NCB. Ya you forgot but then it’s not your nightmare on Elm Street Experience. Then again who knows if I will even be here next week Heck idk if I will survive the NIGHT OF TERROE (NOT) Ok let’s not glance my latest catastrophe perpetrated on me. So as I can see I now think I have close to 18 misfits taring up my castle. At least I got my remote back. Like I said this was to easy. But at this point I count this a victory DUCKS 7 Me 1. At least I’m on the board. Ya but in last place I will be forever known as a looser. Oh wait I’m actually in second place. Ya I’m running with a very close second. So I thought I would celebrate. Ya like that would last for right behind me I hear….
This post was edited by Daryl Page at July 18, 2023 6:58 AM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES 13
DUCKBILL 13. So dejected and just darn wore out I head to the living room. I’d left the remote on the table near my tv. I was wondering why they’d not lifted that like everything else they did. Just a reminder for those who are late for the show. Actually,An AMERICAN TRAGEDY! that was perpetrated on me.(there’s a college 4 syllable word) I find DUCKS in my fridge. THEN THE DUCKBILL GANG shows and proceeds to clear out all my life savings of of $237.53 They stole all my candy bars my van my kicks which I never found. They also used my sink to float round in as it was their private jacuzzi. OH let’s not GLAZE over the CIRCUS CLOWNS. Ok I’m back. Just a little nerve racking reliving this DISNEY NIGHT Of HORROR. As i get to the couch I see these guys.Don’t get these DUCKS mixed up with THE CIRCUS CLOWNS. This is FREDDY FREE LOADERS COLLATION Seems like they had intercepted and hid my remote Then made it clear there would be no rest nor watching tv (How did they put it. Oh ya it’s now THEIR TV) No one watches unless one’s invited. It was painfully clear they were not considering me. So i was seriously upset as I turned and left. SMH I just got tossed by the FREE LOADER COALITION from my own living room. Then again it’s very much up in the air on who owns the house but NO doubt who’s running the show. I decide to go to my PRIVATE MAN CAVE. Not even my wife knows of this place. Heck I have to find the SECRET HIDDEN X MARKS THE SPOT MAP to find this place IF only I could remember where I buried it in the Masson Jars out back. After a few trees later I find the map. Perfect I’m on my way to my MAN CAVE Where MAN LAW RULES SUPREME There I’ve got a completely self sustaining environment I can almost taste the relief. So I find the hidden latch inside the hidden private room’s revolving door tucked away from prying eyes. As I very slowly begin to open door and unbelievably unimaginably to my dismay was…..
This post was edited by Daryl Page at July 24, 2023 2:04 PM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #14
DUCK TALES #14Once the wall closed I had the desire to just vegetate on my couch watching a little cable You know chill unwind after a bit of a stressful 24+ hours of a total invasion of most of my (by paper only) home. Oh there are NO WORDS that can express my thoughts. Here are four other parts of the REMOTE CONTROL CARTEL. It’s not just embarrassing that they found another way in here that apparently idk about. (Bet the wife put it in just to keep tabs on me. She says I tend to wander) Come to think of it where has my wife been the past 24 hours? Did she /does she know something idk? I’m actually so frazzled I’m tossing it over in my mind She may actually have put this all in motion. I’ve got no time for that depth of deceptive planning. I’m more of a wing &prayer kinda guy. However that type of approach is not serving me well at the moment. My bad let me address the elephant in the room. Actually much more terrifying are these very well trained MERCENARIES. They are not just hogging up my once tv but SAME RULES as living room fraction of RCC. No one watches unless invited. Seeing they’re not talking to me BUT RATHER WATCHING a UFC Pay Perview. Yep you guessed it the whole UFC thing it was put on my credit card that was also lifted with everything of mine. So now I’m just not welcome tv but I’m paying for protection and now for paid programming. There’s no future trying to hide here much less hanging out here So I’ve got two more places in my once upon a time house. I’m heading for my Wife’s Craft Room. Normally this is ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK ZONE. I never wanted to find out what that meant. Most assuredly I do not what to find out the cost of such a decision. However tonight anything that may come my way for this transgression by far can’t compare to all I’ve experienced.in the past 24+ hours. So I get up and very cleverly I head for The Little Woman’s CRAFT ROOM. Hoping against Hope that I’ll find a short time of peace. But……
This post was edited by Daryl Page at July 24, 2023 1:48 PM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #15
So totally spent I drag myself up to the attic. NO IM NOT JUMPING OFF (Although I have to admit the thought did cross my mind) IVE ONE LAST THING TO DO IF THIS MOVE DOENT WORK. Ok I had a momentary laps of reason (someone should make a song with that title) GOT CONFUSED FOR MOMENT but I’m better know. (Ya like thats almost believable ) I open the door real slowly for idk if the DUCK DEMOLITION SQUAD HAD RIGGED THE DOOR. As I open the door I slowly look in hoping the whole DUCKBILL GANG N ASSOCIATION, READ THE WARNING BOUT ENTERING AT YOUR OWN RISK.
BUT…..
APPARENTLY THESE GUYS CANT READ .DONT CARE OR ARE ADRENALINE JUNKIES. THESE 4 I believe are the first half of the CANDY BAR CREW THAT STOLE MY RPBC. NOW THEY ARE SITTING IN MY WIFES PRIVATE ROOM ,I JUST KNOW THIS HAS DISASTER WRITTEN ALL OVER IT. BUT IM BEING A PASTOR WASNT GOING RETALIATE. Instead I had to think this situation out. As I saw it I needed to keep my emotions in check as I worked it out in y mind. Deductively I broke it down to three plans. A.B.C. ( MAN THAT SOUNDED INTELLIGENT)
Ok so here’s PLAN A: Pounce on the little critters. Sounds like fun but equally as dangerous. PLAN B: Let my emotions get the better of me. Kinda looks like PLAN A. Of course that’s not a real plan and we all know that’s not going to turn out well for me.
Then there’s PLAN C: Think about what I’m going to do and say. PLAN C was a No Brainer. Which works good for me. As we all know the about the rumored limited amount of decision capacity I have. So I take a deep breath walk right past them and head up to THE HIDDEN BEDROOM in the back. In just a few seconds I will be in the back room completely isolated from the outside world. I believe there’s a refrigerator back here knowing my wife is fully stocked. There’s a nice bed there’s a tv and a sweet stereo system.
So I could hold out here for days. Then seeing that I am in the attic I could order pizza by one of those drone things. How cool would it be to have Pizza Hut deliver your pizza by drone right at your window.
OK so once again I got lost in my thoughts. (But tell me you didn’t in vision doing that. ) Now on my behalf you all have to remember I only have three brain cells left over from the 75/85 decade .They are constantly fighting for rest mode. None of them want to work anymore, not that they did very good when I was younger. So one of them is always resting Turns out to be the same one brain cell always doing the resting. Maybe one of the other 2 Brain Cells should check to see if Mr Lazy Pants hasn’t Flat Lined. Best case scenario it fell asleep and not in a continuous comatose state Worse case senecio the dang cell is on strike. The second one is looking for a way to escape . It’s a little bit hard because there’s so much space up there in my big head for that little cell to find a way out. However it is very determined to do so. I think that is the ping I hear when it runs full speed into the side of my skull. Wow it just hit me maybe Cell 2 is actually trying to off itself.
Leaving me with one last cell. Which seems to be stuck doing everything, and of course that causes a lot of tension . The end result is the working cell is doing everything possible to keep things moving ,is only technically running at 50% . Think bout that for a minute. OK fast forward I go to the back room where my wife’s CRAFT ROOM/secondary bedroom. As I open the door I’m feeling a bit of anxiety well actually it’s a whole lot of stress. I really want to believe on the other side of the door is my salvation my deliverance my escape from this no 30 hour old ordeal.
Once again my eyes are drawn to the sign that she left on the door saying “ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK” in small print I see *IF YOU WALK IN BE PREPARED TO BE CARRIED OUT! * Not sure what that meant but it sounded kind of threatening to me. So my hope is when I get to this room that it will be empty. Yeah like what are the chances of that happening. Anyway I open the door very slowly because I have heard that there is a fraction of the DUCKBILL GANG CALLED *THE DUCK DEMOLITION SQUAD. *had been called in to do their part to OFF ME. Knowing that they could be around I very apprehensively open the door. Yet I had no idea whether or not they had it rigged. As I open the door and go round the corner WHAT DO I SEE, well these guys You remember them. They are the CANDYBAR CREW You know the ones that stole my RPBC. Apparently this is where they disappear to and ate my candy bar. I know as they left the wrapper in the middle of the room. I can only imagine how sideways my life would have been if my wife found the wrappers. ANYWAY The first thing that pops into my head PLAN A: POUNCE ON THEM. If I remember I tried something like that. One Word Blackout.
However I’m quite puzzled I don’t know what to make out of this huddled up thing. You ask what’s their plan.? Well DARNED IF I KNOW But I’m relatively sure it has to do with me and it won’t be good. Now I being a pastor decided I am not going to confront this group but rather keep moving forward. At the moment it seems that these are the only 4 DUCKS here n there n her sewing/CRAFT Room. Man what I would do to be a fly on the wall if my wife walks in the door and saw these 4 guys here. I’m thinking that I would have one of those Thanksgiving wild game meals. Main course DUMPLING OF DUCK.
That being said I don’t expect her to walk through the door anytime soon. As a matter of fact I’m going to kind of reiterate something that I had said before. There is a really good chance that my wife has set this whole thing up in order to Terrorize me. Part of her plan would be for me to tell her what was going on. However of course because she is planning this thing out by the time she gets here and I tell her the story all these DUCKS will have flown south for the winter. Guess who will be left behind and most assuredly will get blamed for the whole debacle. Yep you guessed it. ME. ALL I can do is to let it play out However believe me if I found out my wife has anything to do with this, WELL I’m going to… do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Why are you asked. If you have to ask that question then you don’t know my wife. Remember she’s from Jamaica. They’re very good with machetes. I’ve seen her take a coconut and carve it up with in five seconds. I can only imagine what she can do with that machete on poor little me.
This post was edited by Daryl Page at July 28, 2023 1:17 PM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #16I do apologize for the long delay in the next chapter of this by AMERICAN HORROR STORY It’s been to say the least very difficult for me to relive this event. What makes it harder for me most of you don’t have to deal with this. DUCKS. Yes that’s what I said DUCKS. We have these DUCKS down here in South Florida, by law you cannot bother them and you have to actually stop your car and allow them to cross the street. I know there’s something wrong with this picture we were taught as people that we were pedestrians. Apparently these Ducks down here and heard from some rebel fraction of DUCKS somewhere up north,let’s call it Syracuse that they could take over. So for the last two weeks I have been having flashbacks, NO ITS NOT WHAT YOUR THINKING. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY (Deniable) PAST EXPERIMENTAL DECADE Actually I don’t even remember that decade. No seriously the 76-86 decade is a blank to me. Perhaps well in watz left of my brain matter much is mia n not likely to coe back anytime soon. So there you go. One.can’t have flashbacks about something that’s gone. (My attempt at deniability). What’s left is these Ducks here causing me anxiety and stress!(INTERMISSION)I’m back. I have my therapist on speed dial. I had to talk to him. He gave me great advice. He told me take a deep breath hold it until you pass out. When you wake up in the morning give him a call and if Hes not to busy we can pick it up from there. Then I got an notice on my PayPal account that he charged me $1500 for that 15 minute session So I open the door to my wife’s craft room. I am really hoping to be able to just grab me some snacks maybe a soda or two n watch a little TV fall asleep and see what Sunday brings. But of course when you’re living in a nightmare scenario kind of like a Freddy thing but much worse I’m awake. Things never go the way. One plans things or hopes. If you are the person that is going to be offed (me) then of course there’s NO REASON TO EVEN IMAGINE THIS WILL WORK. So why do I even bother? There’s always hope against hope. Either my wife will walk in and who knows what will happen from there because of the DO NOT ENTER! OH OH OH AND I FOUND A NEW ONE SIMI HIDDEN. ENTER AT OWN RIST. RESIDENT USES STAND YOUR GROUND RITE OF PROTECTION. All very strange n bizarre. Second the place could be full of party goers. Actually I have been Frat Houses that have less parties going on with way less peeps then I have DUCKS. Three the room could be DUCK FREE. Take a guess which scenario I walked into. There’s your answer for what do I see yep it looks a bit like The DUCKBILL GANG. I can tell because so-called father what does a little sailor cap on. I’m getting kind of the same vibe from them as I was getting from the Remote Bandits that has taken over my TV set. This bed was not looking good. Then I hear Danny Duck. He’s the dad (wink wink) not related to DONALD DUCK. say if you have any money in my savings (they cleaned out my ck account) I could by the bed back. I had a few hundred buried in back yard. So begrudgingly I give him watz left. I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking what was I thinking. Apparently I was beyond the ability to rationalize anything out. After giving ole Danny my last flow I decided to sit in my wife’s love chair until the Danny gets everyone settled and I can have a place to lay my head. Actually thinking about it why would my wife have a love seat in her private craft room? I mean it’s not like I’ve ever been in here. So I’m wondering who gets to share the seat. OK so I got a little bit distracted on that one But seriously gotta think about that. So I stroll across the room get ready to sit down as I know it’s gonna take a few minutes for Danny to move out of the room. He moves fast when he’s trying to escape, I’m not too sure he’s going to be in any fired up hurry to get out of the bed soon. Just as I began to sit down…….
This post was edited by Daryl Page at August 2, 2023 1:10 PM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #17
These two. Idk who they are but they’ve already stole my keys to the house my room my car. N now trying to sneak the key chain back to the keychain hanger in hopes to fool me. Ya Ya it looks like i’m not on my game. You mite say foolish looking. When actually this is all going to my plan. I know what you’re thinking don’t let me plan your daughters wedding WoW that was a weird little detour so where was I? As if I wouldn’t miss the car. I’ve totally lost count. I’m going to approach this from a different way. It’s already Sunday Morning Howbeit only 2:47am I will start bringing them to a COME TO JESUS MOMENT One thing I’ve always found there are two types of peeps runners and sitters. The best way to find out would be WELL HECK let’s Preach JESUS. This is when the runners in this case they have my van a motorcycle. Oh n I just saw by little 4 wheel drive quad fly past the side window Meaning they even AS DUCKS/TERRORIST will be gone like rats leaving a sinking ship if they want to. I am thinking The FREDDY THE FREELOADERS will stay for communion (I’ll give them grape juice) There may be a few younger ones may stay behind to listen or continue to hassle me more likely catch a few more hours of sleep. So that’s the plan get them up at 8. I may have to get a pot n pan and bang them together as I announce the service will start in one hour. That gives everyone a chance to bolt. Idk how I’ll explain this to anyone. It’s all to embarrassing. WHO CARES THE WHOLE BAND OF GYPSEE’S will be gone. Nothing could be worse then this past 36 hours. OH WAIT MY WIFE IS COMING HOME ANY DAY NOW ( I AM THE LAST TO KNOW. WELL DUHH THERES ONLY THE TWO OF US. I MEAN HOW WOULD I KNOW WHEN SHE WOULD BE HOME WHEN SHE DOES NOT KNOW. I WILL FAKE THE BIG ONE. NO THEN SHE MAY give me a few chops with her machete. Rite now I’ve got a plan Theres one thing for sure if you have a crazy Auntie Patty or Piratical Joker Uncle Peter and your cousin obnoxious Oran JUST STAND UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM AND ASK DO YOU ALL KNOW JESUS IS THE ANSWER! That gets their attention. THEN KICK IT IN OVERDRIVE and LET ME TELL YOU BOUT JESUS That will send them looking for the nearest door or window. We will see how my plan works but I need to find some place to sleep for few hours. Theres one last chance. I have my old bedroom in the cellar that EVEN I forgot exactly where it is. So I head to the cellar the door wasn’t closed tight. Probably the house setting. After few hours I find the room I walk in and walk over to the bed only to see
This post was edited by Daryl Page at August 10, 2023 5:21 AM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #18
As I get closer I hear something but there’s no way there’s anyone here. So I kick off my one sneaker and put my back to the bed and start to sit down i HONESTLY just touched the bed when I hear SO YOUR GONNA MAKE TELL YOU AREN’T YOU. (I WILL REMEMBER THIS) OH HECK YOU KNOW I AINT GONNA DO NOTHING. Ok I hear what sounded like a small GAGGLE (umm is that a GIGGLE) OF DUCKS. I haven’t moved that fast since I last lived in this room. WELL THERE WAS THAT LITTLE MISUNDERSTANDING THAT A WELL SHE PUT AN END TO IT WITH THE MACHETE. I have just a little hitch in my step. Oh heck in my shuffle. I don’t want to fall n break my hip. I DID IT AGAIN DIDN’T I. SOOOO I run over to the switch on the wall to turn on the light. I look up I blink that did not work I rubbed my eyes. Only to realize there’s no place private anymore anywhere. Well at least here. It’s not that bad. I’m sure when they lifted my account information off the laptop. Ohhh I didn’t mention that. MAYBE CUS I AM JUST THIS SIDE OF CRAZY ok CRAZIEST EVER that this house won’t be mine and I’ll be served evacuation papers Monday. Well jail is better then dealing with a wife who’s coming home with the last few thing to complete HER DREAM HOME and walks into the local motorcycle frat house. OK Back to the present. I literally had to walk rite up to look them eye to eye. Well actually it was my eyes to their one eye. JUST IN CASE I HAD FALLEN ASLEEP N AGAINST ALL HOPE N SERIOUSLY DIMINISHED LOGIC. YA I pinched myself to see if I was a sleep. This was all a dream.LoL YA RITE THEY DON’ T CALL ME MR LUCKY for no reason. Ok It Wasn’t a Freddy on Elm St sleep Heck Freddy got nothing on my past 38 hours. I give them the once over when they give me the OLD MOTHER DUCK STORY I’ll cut to the chance. THE FOUR SISTERS SANDY MANDY BRANDY CANDY N HER BABY RUTH So it seems that the NOW INFAMOUS THE HOT WHEEL CLAN stole my van and picked up their wives and told them of THE OPEN BOARDER POLICY N SANCTUARY HOME STATUS enjoyed by all that could make it here. SO here’s where it gets all sad. BRANDY says they came back with their husbands ANDY RANDY MANNY SAMMY. They found the window in the back of my bedroom. [MAN It’s been a minute LIKE I TOTALLY FORGOT that was my escape route.] I WISH I’D REMEMBERED THIS WINDOW 38 hours ago. All rite so they have been left here for 12 hours now. They think their husbands may not be coming back. They are so tired and was hoping to stay for a few months but if I wanted to toss them out. They would go without any trouble. That’s when BABY RUTH gave out a wheezing quack. Sounded more like a cluck. Idk if I’m being sold a bringe. You know like the one in Alaska. Ya the one from main land to an island no one is allowed on. Ya that bridge. They got out from under the blankets OK SO I was at a WEAK MOMENT remember I ain’t slept in 40 hours now. Anyway I tell them they can stay for the night and we can figure it out later. Then BABY RUTH let’s out the strongest QUACK ever. SMH in total absolutely positively in total rejection I walk out the door. I told them chuch service JESUS SAVES Will be in 4 hours. I closed the door and walked back upstairs to the kitchen. It was all quite now. Theres nothing left here but a chair and a old fashioned pillow stool. That’s where I found a few hours to rest. Well I’m going to put my plan in motion in just a few. So I sit in the chair with my Bible. I fell asleep. You may not believe what I wake up to…
This post was edited by Daryl Page at November 4, 2023 1:56 AM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #19.
So I’m sitting in my lounge chair. Which bother the way the lever is broken off meaning I can’t recline the chair. Oh how that happen. Well to hear the rumors. Somehow I lifted the lever up real fast n hard. Well n it broke. The High Times magazine has reported that (remember Danny well his brother TOMMY Ya idk him either. ) apparently was using the lodge chair as a bucking bull. Where is he. Heck he may be in the next stage or the next room. Honestly I think it’s all propaganda to through everyone (me) off my game. That is hilarious my game got lost the moment the Dastardly Ducks showed up at my front door. Just another way to make me look useless. I wouldn’t say that. However do to the latest turn of events. One could make a good case for Worthless. I’m running will helpless. Of which I am. There’s nothing left of my domain or on peaceful existence with nature . So ya I’m helpless. Hence my now longe chair that’s just a chair. At least I got an old fashioned fabric stools. You know the real popular ones in the 60’s I start to fall asleep when I woke up in cold sweats. As I had a bad dream that a SUPER GAGGLE OF TERRORIST Somehow had broke into my home and well let me tell you. It only took a few seconds to realize it wasn’t bad dream but rather FLASH BACKS. I got to tell you it was an extremely restless night. Idk I guess it was like 4:32 am. When I heard a bunch of rustling out in the other room. If that wasn’t enough torment I do BELIVE I heard a few celebratory QUACKS. They did an end around on me. They knew I was going to get up around 7 and wake them up. I intended to bang on pots n pans. Seems they were pawned off So I looked for my fireman speaker. Ya u guessed it. Mia. I’ve got no chance to get the drop on them. I dare not fall asleep even for a few minutes as I have no idea what will become of me. Somehow eventually Mother Nature wins. And you body falls into compliance. It happened so subtle I woke up to these HOUSE INVADERS Honestly idk who they are or what part of the cartel they are from. Likely the worst of the worst. I see them storm trouping my chair. I can’t even focus on them as they were trying to surround me. I’m a bit embarrassed to mention this but I was petrified paralyzed frozen like a popsicle in my seat. This may be it for OUR HERO. Ok so I’m not ur type of Hero. I wonder what my wife will call me. I doubt Hero would be the word she choose H-LL NO would be more like it. I mean the moment I open my mouth she’s gonna give that look. U know the one dad gave u wen u were one breath away from getting beat. If I spoke n tried to explain this. That wen the H-LL NO would kick in. Oh got lost in my thoughts for a minute there. (TICK TOCK TICK TOCK) Ok so maybe it was a little more than a minute. I am back Focus Focus oh ya I’m surrounded my a mob. What will happen next. To Be Continued……
ONE LOVE D
This post was edited by Daryl Page at November 4, 2023 2:00 AM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES #20
So, where were we? Oh yeah back up in the kitchen/living room area in my ones sweet lounge chair thats just a 200 pound paperweight collecting cloths at this time. You know Sammy he’s directly connected to the early demise of my lodge chair. Well, anyway, back to the classic horror story. Yeah, sure it is. We have villains, gangs, hustlers, let’s not forget Freddy and his freeloaders. Right now it looks as if they are free loading with the circus Carneys. They get real upset when you call them Carneys and lastly Ducks in Distress.
Apparently, somehow our hero/OK victim, lost his house and will become homeless tomorrow. Let’s not glaze over the fact that my wife will be coming home soon to redecorate the house. So yeah, this is probably going to gain cult status. A Serious American tragedy!OK, you guys back? Lost you for a minute, can you keep up. So I’m just this side of flat lining as I must’ve passed out. Hey, did you ever do one of those 10 minute power nap things were you wake up full of energy and sharp as a tack? Well, this is not one of them. As I wake up and the room is completely dark. I reached for the wall switch. Yeah you guessed it. They pulled the old tape the light switch off. I could not even think of a quack umm I mean quick solution. I am more than a bit embarrassed to admit that I am shaken to the core, I told Fred Sanford the big one is coming. I can hear inside the room, flaps on my floor as they try doing an end around me. Luckily, I always have my 28 piece jack knife on me. OK so maybe I left in the bedroom I do have my keychain with my flashlight. Yeah I’ll hit that n get the drop on them. Dang. ##-.@ those #-@ Ducks they jacked the batteries out of my flashlight while I was out. In Duck Gang language. They are expressing to me that if they wanted to off me they could as they were close enough to me to jack my batteries. It’s shear intimidation on their part. Honestly it’s working. But of course I can’t let them know I’m the least bit bothered. Oh umm never mind bout the whole intimidation by battery. I apparently forgot to turn on the switch. So I kick it on. I try to run for the door but can see they are trying to cut me off at the pass. The rest were flapping their little wings. Kinda cute actually BUT it was done to make themselves look bigger then they are. Ya back to that intimate thing they got going on. So I turn and head for the secret window to clime out. Only to find. It’s not a secret window it’s now a nailed close window. SO YOU STILL DO NOT SEE THIS AS A HORROR STORY? Did I mention I was being over run by BIBLICAL CURSE of endless locust except these are DUCKS. So I do one of my high school football running back moves. I do a double spin to through them off. BRIEF BREAK while the room stops spinning. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK. Ok now I’m fully awake ALERT (not so sure of) after the rush from that double spin thing I tried. As I regain sensation and become aware of my surroundings. I begin to experience the FEAR FACTOR kicking in. I feel as if I’m in emmet danger even Gloom n Doom is about to be perpetrated ( there’s a real college educated word) on me. As I open my eyes I don’t see any Ducks. A few feathers. But no Ducks. That makes me nervous to say the least.
The coast is clear to the door as I stand up. As I contemplate my next move I hear a voice inside say don’t move freeze. Then another voice that’s real big into self preservation says RUN FOREST RUN!!!!! Then the voice of logic steps in and says Listen To The Voice. Ya that took awhile to work through. I finally get up enough courage to try to make it to the study. There’s an old fashion, Stickley wooden chair and a little stool in there. Did I mention it was from 1760s and in my wife’s side of the family for all this time.
I work up the courage to make a dash to the study. I count all the way up to seven, the number 10 is just too much in a situation like this. I barely get to the study somehow. Well it was only 20 feet away. I got to the wooden chair, thinking how lucky I was to make it here. Then I started thinking that was way too easy. Something has to give. I set in grandpa‘s wooden chair did I mention it was an antique Wooden Stickley Chair However as i sit on it I hear a puzzling sound…..
This post was edited by Daryl Page at October 26, 2023 3:48 PM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES 21
The sound was a crack, followed by a snap. Then complete silence. When I came to say I take a deep breath as I am completely expecting to have a lot of pain from the broken bones. To my surprise, I didn’t have any bones broken a few bruises and a crushed spirit. Seems my fear of the DEMOLITION COALITION were fully warranted. Remember that pay for protection. You know my money hard at work. Apparently it must not have made it to the proper DUCK. See these Special Forces Guys are what I’m paying to my Intimidation donation fund for. Note to self see if you can get a rebate. Ya maybe in another story not here.
Anyway I’ve got bigger issues, I don’t know how long I was out. Worst there’s no DUCKS in sight! Man, this would be a real bad time for the little woman to show up. Did I mention the Stickley chair which was an antique? OH well it gets better The chair has been in her family for over 200 years. At least the dizziness is wearing off. I don’t know why I thought I’d find any place to rest. All I wanted to do was crash just for few hours. Wow bad choices of words. Man I got whole different perspective on crash. Did I mention my hearing is coming back slowly. Well better try and stand up, the last thing I want is for the little woman to find me laying on her families chair. It really doesn’t matter. My days are numbered. It’s not a question of if. It’s more of a simple matter of how merciful she will be. Either way I predict more trouble and pain. Just a few more hours I’m going to break out my best Jesus, Freak and unleash the Holy Spirit on them. So until the sun comes up, I’m going to sit in this beanbag chair, yeah, I got one of them still. So I drag the bean bag behind the ottoman in the living room………
This post was edited by Daryl Page at October 26, 2023 5:05 PM EDT
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DUCK TALES
DUCK TALES 22.
Seems that little noise was arranged by what I believe there are Special Forces in the Demolition Coalition. Well I landed on the old melon left me without my sight. I Call Dr. Feel Alright. He told me it was probably temporary. He did charge me $1500 just like the other doctor. However, the jokes on him as the DUCK BILL GANG made off with everything that was not nailed down worth taking. Including my prize four wheel Chevy truck. HEY Let’s not glaze over this temporary blindness thing I got going on. Gosh that could last for years. Stress in a bump can do strange things.Ahh Umm forget about worrying about my eyesight. Seems my eyes were closed so actually, I can see. What I see is my demise as I survey the total destruction of my wife’s precious antique family heirloom. The whole past 40 hours plus will be like a tea party in comparison to facing my life or lack there of once my little woman gets home. Oh well least I can see it coming, I hope and maybe I don’t want to see it. What I don’t see those are those Special Forces. You know they can hide in plain sight. Mines a little hazy. But I’m sure they’ve zeroed out. I’m sure that’s stripped down for scrap and the rest of my belongings are pawned off. This whole DUCK BILL GANG is headed up my no other then LITTLE LOUIE and BIG BOB.No not the cartoon. This is a tragic event and you jump to BOB’S BURGERS. REALLY. I’m not gonna complain. Actually I’m keeping a positive attitude. OK it’s more of an optimistic look Who am I kidding I’m just short of losing my mind. Now that I think of it must be when I was out. Last brain cell is now unconscious. Man, I didn’t imagine just how much work out the little guy put in. Do you know the one Cell that’s working, while the other is on strike and we’re not even sure about the third one. What if he never wakes up? Who got time for such deep thought, actually can’t even put two ideas together. His things come into focus, and begin to quickly install fully, OK, so I drag my beanbag the only chair left into the dining room. I think they left this here because it was yellow and reminded them of Little Louis. So I have a little 56 minutes before sunrise. That’s when I will call a come to Jesus moment OK hour. After all it is Sunday morning I get across the living room from the kitchen and hide behind a 20 year old ottoman. Yeah they left that apparently it was too ugly for them to steel I curled up in my beanbag waiting for sunrise. Yes we are going to have a sunrise service. I doubt all the DUCKBILL GANG in associates have all left. THE ASSOCIATES are likely the most dangerous DUCKS of them all. These guys make THE DEMOLITION COALITION look like a garden party. So believe me as tired as I am and even though that’s all I wanted for the past 30 hours. I’m not going to nod off. When the sun comes up I will wake them up or at least get their attention. That said, somehow I passed out. The sun was already up much to my surprise. I guess I got a few more winks then I thought. It was then my winks turned to blinks. As I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Howbeit a bit blurry. So as I open my eyes wide. I see this Mötley Crüe. Honestly, the sun is in my eyes so I was squinting to look around. When I see a DUCK eye looking at me. They are eye level. Like the Doors Song. This is the End. I’m frozen in time awaiting my fate. Well then again idk the status of the little guy up there. Maybe he’s unconscious and may never wake up. That could be the reason I’m feeling inadequate. Like you can be CONFIDENT with one cell doing everything. I look over the top of the ottoman and see idk I can’t count that high at the moment. Actually counting wasn’t my strong suit in school. All the sudden they get like really get riled up. They start flapping their wings and rush to the edge of the ottoman. I fear there bout to pounce on me. Likely to tickle me to death. Oh don’t think that’s a painless way to go. And goodbye, cruel world. Then the ringleader began to quack at me. Yeah I am catching a few DUCK words. What I’m about to hear….
This post was edited by Daryl Page at October 26, 2023 7:25 PM EDT