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salvation
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i dont do much internet posting but something has prompted me too.
i wish to start by saying im not worthy but God has forgivin me any how he has seen much more in me than i ever have been able to.
my story starts at birh accually i was born dead and according to my mother they were about to sighn my death certificate something told him to try once more and im here writing this today. he has saved me and kept me going even when i was a athiest drug addic that whas depresed and suicidal. tryed twice before the major one my razor was too dull all i found was. second the vein kept rolling away i have big veins that dont do that. still didnt see then who was keeping here i od the 3rd time i was home alone and noone was to be home for 2 more hours. but some thing to my mom to come. she risked her job on a gut feeling she come home found me in the flooor and gets me to the er. the doctor comes in after its all said and done and said your a lucky girl another 30 min. and youd been dead. i still wasnt grateful i looked at the dr and said you should have let me die.
my mom sends to to my father who can get insurance on me to help with mental illnesses. i had one suicidal thought after it scared the pee out of me i no longer wanted to die. but still did not belive. still drank and did drugs. still didnt care what they did to me.
i married young in a abusive relationship which help lead to my eyes opening. my children are my blessing. god saved me from something i thought id never come out alive from. save me and my first born. there was many hardsships being a non working brestfeeding mother who is at this time single but were not getting beet either emotional or phically no more. i was starving my self to feed my child and try to break her from the brest. god supplied our needs and i was greatfull.
i later found a job and a wonderful now husband we fought took custody of his kids cause their birthmother was bad on drugs which made me first time mom to 3 and later had one together.
i have found marrage is two people who love eachother enough to never give up. God has gotten us threw hell over the years. were not perfect but we are each others and love eachother
a few years back a treee bout killed my husband ruptued his spleen the only reason he servived was the fact that when the tree hit the spleen tied itslef ito a knot. which baffled the drs. they had never seen that and flat out said if not for that he would have been dead before he got to the hospitil that was almost 6 years ago.
to make a long story short count your blessing no matter how small or big im now almost 17 years clean i dont do drugs and dont drink no more either.
the devil still tries to attack but my GOD is bigger than him and will lead and get us threw it all. he made me aware my own chilldren have been walking in some of my shoes and is getting them back on track too. he gives us streghth to keep going and lays all the devils down