The Repetition Competition
For you don't delight in sacrifice, or else I would give it. You have no pleasure in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. O God, you will not despise a broken and contrite heart. Psalms 51:16 WEB
When I first came to the Lord, I was so zealous that I wanted to make up for everything that I had ever done wrong in the past. I enrolled in Bible college and like many others there, I developed a very legalistic view. I fasted for weeks, gave all that I had, tried to memorize the Bible, prayed all day, and listened to the Bible all night.
I wanted to earn my salvation and prove that my dedication to the Lord was stronger than everyone else there. But soon school became a repetition competition, where we just repeated the things that we had heard someone else say. My knowledge seemed a mile wide and an inch deep, it was shallow.
Oh I knew a lot about Jesus, but I didn't know Him.I talked a lot about Jesus, but I didn't talk to Him. I sang a lot about Jesus, but I didn't sing to Him. Jesus said that there would be those who would call Him "Lord, Lord" and He would say 'I never knew you' (Matthew 7:23). Well that was me in a nutshell. I was so busy trying to be a good Christian, that I had no time for Him.
The Lord eventually broke me down to nothing, stripped away everything that I had, and separated me from everyone that I knew. It turned out to be the best thing that could have happened. Though He had told me early on that I would be in the ministry one day, when it delayed coming about, I decided that I must have disappointed Him somehow. I must have taken too many wrong turns in life, and He finally gave up on me. I had many excuses as to why He did not use me in ministry, but the delay was because He was preparing me.
Finally I dropped my pretend 'Church Face' and started to just be me. I began to involve God in my decisions everyday, and I talked with Him like a friend. I learned to relax, and to include Him in whatever I was doing. Only then did a relationship begin to develop between us, and that soon became life changing. Like the tiny mustard seed, faith will grow.
Attending church, fasting, praying, giving, reading the Bible, singing, is all good in moderation, but let Him be the focus, and do not neglect Him while you are doing it. Believe me, you can, because I have done it. Your Bible is not God, it tells us about Him. I encourage you to make Jesus a part of your life each day. Be a real person, serving God the best you can. When you stumble, repent and get back up. Be honest with Him, for He knows who we are, better than we do.Prayer: Heavenly Father I thank You for loving me. Please help me be a better person, and make me stable. Lead me to where You want me to be, and open the doors that You want me to go through. Come into my life and be a part of it for I am Yours, in the name of Jesus Christ I pray
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