You are of your Father, the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and doesn't stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks on his own; for he is a liar, and the father of it. John 8:44 WEB
When I would try and pray, crazy thoughts would begin to run through my mind like: 'God has abandoned you. He doesn't hear you or care. No one cares about you. Why don't you just end this? You are a failure and will soon be homeless. Your spouse is going to leave you.'
We had been out of work for months and bills continued to pile up around us. The worst part of it was that I had not heard from God in a while. That is always the real test, the cold shoulder, and the feeling of abandonment that comes with it. See a timely word from God changes everything and makes things easy, but when that is taken away, you get to see who you really are inside.
I know that God is always there for us, but there are times of testing. God left Hezekiah to try him, that he might know all that was in his heart (2 Chronicles 32:31). When Jesus bore our sin on the cross (2 Corinthians 5:21), God turned away from Him and it broke His heart. Jesus said: 'My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?' (Matthew 27:46). In this life, there will be times when God is silent, and His word comes 'after many days' (1 Kings 18:1). Think of it as a dramatic pause.
For me, it was a time of testing and silence, but it was not completely silent. I heard doom, despair, and agony everyday from the liar. It was a difficult, dark time in my life, but it eventually passed and God came through. When all hope was gone and we were packing to move out of our house, suddenly, within about forty-eight hours, we were pushed into full-time ministry and all of our bills paid for the month. The test had a beginning and an end.
The doom and gloom were all a bunch of lies. God was merely promoting us, and this was the path. The old doors had to be closed before we would look for the door that He was opening. Jesus called the devil, 'the father of lies' for all day long, he whispers lies into your ear.
First he just gets you to listen to him, maybe by asking a question like he did with Eve: 'Did God really say?' Then later comes a lie: 'You will not surely die (Genesis 3:4).' Well they did. Next, he will provide an opportunity for you to act on it. The goal is to hurt God by getting you into disobedience and causing God's judgment to fall on His own child that He loves. If you follow the liar's advice, he will then turn on you and accuse you before God (Zechariah 3:1).
Don't listen to the liar for God will come through for you. Do not give up and turn back to your old life, or end it. Learn to recognize the voice of the liar and mute him. When you have thoughts of failure, defeat, loneliness, depression, poverty and such, you can be sure that is all from the liar. Push these thoughts aside and hang onto God one more day.Prayer: Heavenly Father please strengthen me. Teach me to lean on You and to never give up hope. Touch my life with Your presence and help me always see Your light through the darkness, in the name of Jesus Christ I pray.
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