I Want To Talk About Me

If there is therefore any exhortation in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any tender mercies and compassion, make my joy full, by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind; doing nothing through rivalry or through conceit, but in humility, each counting others better than himself; each of you not just looking to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others. Philippians 2:1 WEB

After owning a computer business for two decades and spending years taking care of racks of servers and equipment, someone pushed me aside to show me how to re-install a simple program on one of the computers at church. I could have written the program and coded the installer as well. There were many thoughts that ran through my head that day, sadly not a one of them was good. To put it nicely I thought something like: 'If this idio' er' these people had any idea what I know, they would not have gotten in my way and we would have been done by now.' Eventually they got the program installed, though it pained me to watch them fumble about, when I knew exactly what needed to be done.

Later, as I was thinking this over, it made no sense for me to be bothered by this at all. It is difficult to get volunteers at church for any position that is not in the spot light. Someone stepping in to help should be appreciated, even welcomed. Now I can go sit down with my wonderful wife and enjoy the service while they fix the broken computers, but that was not what I was thinking at the time. We like to be noticed, respected, important, needed, in the spotlight. I want to talk about me, how much I know, and what I am doing. Needless to say, when the Holy Spirit revealed that part of me to myself, I had some repenting to do, and I felt like a prize idiot for thinking that way.

God wants us to be balanced. Many of you think too little of yourself, and God wants you to know that is wrong. He loves you, delights in you, and formed you in your mother's womb (Psalms 139:13). You were no accident, but carefully planned through the centuries. If a single person in your family line had died before their time, then you would not be here today. He has carefully prepared you to live in this time and He has a plan and a purpose for your life. Do not think too little of yourself, and do not waste the time that He has given you here.

I came up as white trailer trash, a despised step-child in abject poverty. In total, I had nine dads, three moms, and they had more temporary partners than I remember. By the time my parents were done, we had enough step-brothers and sisters to populate a small town. Somehow I was always the youngest one there and most referred to me as 'Robert's boy' or 'Carolyn's boy' with knowing looks. Many never bothered to learn my name before they were gone. I can tell you in intricate detail what an unwanted child feels like.

God cannot use someone that will not let Him, and I really struggled with that. I felt so 'worthless' that I would resist Him, like I could never do that. Then after I came to know the Lord better, He began to build me up, so that later He could raise me up. He does not want us to look down on ourselves or our past. It is a new day and the old has passed away. He can use me, He can use you. Eventually the Lord brought me up to balance. Then I began to like my new self a lot, and then He had to bring me back down. God is faithful to bring us discipline when needed (Hebrews 12:7).

It is so obvious looking backwards that God wanted to bring things into balance. He brings the lowly up, He brings the prideful down. At church that day He brought some more deep-rooted pride and selfish ambition to the surface. Their actions may not have been right, but I am only responsible for my actions, not theirs. Resist the temptation to always talk about yourself. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent (Proverbs 17:28). Let others push you aside and then enjoy the free time it gave you. They can work on all the computers in the world now (except mine), and I would happily let them.

Prayer: Heavenly Father please bring my life and my view of myself into proper balance. Help me be grounded and stable in You, neither too high nor too low. Give me a clear vision of what You have for me and help me live my life here to the fullest and in Your presence. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray.

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